Book Review: Snow Flower and The Secret Fan

I finished this book last night and have come to a few conclusions:

1. I am so glad I was not born in ancient China....or even modern China
2. Love hurts for real

3. Guilt is powerful
4. Women are amazingly strong

What I found most interesting about this book was the idea of a committed monogamous friendship between women. I think a contract like that being created in this age would not be an unwelcome thing. Women are so competitive now and can be downright cruel to each other, an unbreakable contract would, I think be an interesting experiment. To swear to be supportive and love each other until death would help us to form bonds more seriously and also to treat those relationships with more care. Deep lasting friendships are so rare and precious I think a commitment would be an interesting way to acknowledge that, it would also help us to express our gratitude and love more simply and plainly rather than the complex and awkward way we currently do it.

Whenever I want to tell my good friends that I love them with all my heart, we start shifting uncomfortably, cannot make eye contact and feel a little silly. Personally I am afraid of rejection or, if I am honest with myself, of that love not being requited. A Laotong life friendship or even a sworn sisterhood just sounds so much more romantic, meaningful and less childish than "bestie" or "bff". My female relationships have been by far the most complex of my life I actually think a commitment would simplify them.  Don't worry friends I am not suggesting we sleep naked together and I promise not to fall asleep with my hand on your cheek, I would just like to tell you how much I love you without feeling dumb or afraid,.