And the Hormonal Rollercoaster Continues...
Well my period is due today and yet again I have started picking out baby names, and squeezing my boobs to see if they are sensitive. Can someone tell me HOW to not do this every month? I can't tell you how disappointing it is, how painful it is, for all my hopes to be dashed with the appearance of my period.
I have a wonderful and beautiful "miracle" son. Why should I be so selfish? What is wrong with me that I need another child so badly. HORMONES, damn those hormones. I am quickly approaching 32, and I really want to be done having kids soon. I don't want to be 60 with a teenager.
Oh why can't I just be satisfied with what I have? What is this human condition that constantly drives us toward more? Today I actually seriously started thinking about getting a kitten! What is wrong with me, as if two cats and a dog aren't enough, I want to add yet another animal to my menagerie. We JUST got rid of one dog, and it was emotional, painful, and not something I want to do again any time soon.
I could really go for a large helping of "peace-that-passes-understanding" right now. However, I probably won't get it as long as I keep trying to understand it. That is another one of my big problems. I am constantly trying to make some kind of sense out of this crazy world, and, it doesn't make any sense! That is the only conclusion I can come to. Life is nonsensical. However, it doesn't keep me from continuing to try to figure it all out. Today it has left me, tired, emotional, and feeling quite hopeless and alone. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
CIAO!
I have a wonderful and beautiful "miracle" son. Why should I be so selfish? What is wrong with me that I need another child so badly. HORMONES, damn those hormones. I am quickly approaching 32, and I really want to be done having kids soon. I don't want to be 60 with a teenager.
Oh why can't I just be satisfied with what I have? What is this human condition that constantly drives us toward more? Today I actually seriously started thinking about getting a kitten! What is wrong with me, as if two cats and a dog aren't enough, I want to add yet another animal to my menagerie. We JUST got rid of one dog, and it was emotional, painful, and not something I want to do again any time soon.
I could really go for a large helping of "peace-that-passes-understanding" right now. However, I probably won't get it as long as I keep trying to understand it. That is another one of my big problems. I am constantly trying to make some kind of sense out of this crazy world, and, it doesn't make any sense! That is the only conclusion I can come to. Life is nonsensical. However, it doesn't keep me from continuing to try to figure it all out. Today it has left me, tired, emotional, and feeling quite hopeless and alone. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
CIAO!
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