Fashion Tradgedy
A couple of things have happened to me recently in the world of fashion...
First tragedy is that I now hold a subscription to Glamour magazine. Those of you who know me well, know that I am not really their demographic. In fact, the last time I looked glamorous was probably my junior prom... (at least I felt glamorous) ANYHOW, all of a sudden I am getting this magazine and I hope they don't expect me to pay for it, as I don't even read it!! Maybe they are trying to increase their readership as I know all forms of print media are not doing very well. I now keep Glamour in the toilet basket along with my tampons, sudoku puzzles, and National Geographic. All that paper wasted on totally fashion challenged moi. I wouldn't know a Prada bag if it I tripped over it. I buy that 1 dollar makeup off the internet. Almost all my clothes are at least three years old and from either Old Navy or Target. When I am really feeling gi-gi I might shop at The Gap! The advertisers are really not getting their money's worth on me.
Second tragedy is the "High Waisted Skinny Jeans". I was walking through JC Penny's today and I saw the ugliest pants I have ever seen. Not only are they those super tight painted on jeans, but, they have a waist that would go up to my breasts! To top it off there are six bright brass buttons three on each side going up the middle. I stopped in my tracks and started to crack up laughing. Why would anyone want to make it look like they have no waste at all? Who designed these ugly things.
I did some searching on the internet to find pictures of people actually wearing these horrid things, but I could only find people like J-Lo. And I am sorry to say, even J-lo can't pull these off. They literally make people look like they have no waist at all, like their waist is up under their boobs. GROSS! I have such a small waist anyway on me they would be hilarious! Makes me want to try a pair on just so I can laugh. My breasts would literally hang over the top of these pants. The zipper would be up in my cleavage. I just wonder what the TLC fashion gurus would have to say about these pants? BLECH!
I actually found lots and lots of pictures of PLUS SIZED high waist skinny jeans! Oh no, these are just wrong. Even the models look like something out of "The Nightmare Before Christmas". Nothing says "Check out my great big ass, gut bulge, and teeny tiny little legs" like these pants. The saddest part of all is it is now confirmed, I am totally old and uncool. I knew it would happen one day, and I guess today was the day. I hope my daughter never comes home wanting to wear clothes that make me laugh. I hope I can remember how much I loved my layered socks and giant bangs when my baby wants to wear something totally horrific. I will just have to take a deep breath and say "Oh you look so beautiful".
Fashion Police Where Are You?
First tragedy is that I now hold a subscription to Glamour magazine. Those of you who know me well, know that I am not really their demographic. In fact, the last time I looked glamorous was probably my junior prom... (at least I felt glamorous) ANYHOW, all of a sudden I am getting this magazine and I hope they don't expect me to pay for it, as I don't even read it!! Maybe they are trying to increase their readership as I know all forms of print media are not doing very well. I now keep Glamour in the toilet basket along with my tampons, sudoku puzzles, and National Geographic. All that paper wasted on totally fashion challenged moi. I wouldn't know a Prada bag if it I tripped over it. I buy that 1 dollar makeup off the internet. Almost all my clothes are at least three years old and from either Old Navy or Target. When I am really feeling gi-gi I might shop at The Gap! The advertisers are really not getting their money's worth on me.
Second tragedy is the "High Waisted Skinny Jeans". I was walking through JC Penny's today and I saw the ugliest pants I have ever seen. Not only are they those super tight painted on jeans, but, they have a waist that would go up to my breasts! To top it off there are six bright brass buttons three on each side going up the middle. I stopped in my tracks and started to crack up laughing. Why would anyone want to make it look like they have no waste at all? Who designed these ugly things.I did some searching on the internet to find pictures of people actually wearing these horrid things, but I could only find people like J-Lo. And I am sorry to say, even J-lo can't pull these off. They literally make people look like they have no waist at all, like their waist is up under their boobs. GROSS! I have such a small waist anyway on me they would be hilarious! Makes me want to try a pair on just so I can laugh. My breasts would literally hang over the top of these pants. The zipper would be up in my cleavage. I just wonder what the TLC fashion gurus would have to say about these pants? BLECH!
I actually found lots and lots of pictures of PLUS SIZED high waist skinny jeans! Oh no, these are just wrong. Even the models look like something out of "The Nightmare Before Christmas". Nothing says "Check out my great big ass, gut bulge, and teeny tiny little legs" like these pants. The saddest part of all is it is now confirmed, I am totally old and uncool. I knew it would happen one day, and I guess today was the day. I hope my daughter never comes home wanting to wear clothes that make me laugh. I hope I can remember how much I loved my layered socks and giant bangs when my baby wants to wear something totally horrific. I will just have to take a deep breath and say "Oh you look so beautiful".
Fashion Police Where Are You?
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