Books I wish Steig Larson had written

Here are some books I wish Steig Larson had written:
The Girl Who Swatted Mosquitoes
The Girl Who Ran With Scissors
The Girl Who Jumped in Puddles
The Girl Who Toyed With Bacteria
The Girl Who Tickled Hitler
The Girl Who Dined with Danger
The Girl Who Inhaled Near Asbestos
The Girl Who Flushed Disaster
The Girl Who Never Washed Her Hands After Using A Public Toilet
The Girl Who Sneezed Diptheria
The Girl Who Strutted Barefoot
The Girl With A Staring Problem
I could go on...