Burglars and Sawdust

So here's the deal, we are in the middle of rennovating our second floor and so all of our furniture and clothing and EVERYTHING is in our living room. Including all the pets and our bed. Sunday morning at 4:00am, while sleeping in our living room I woke up to my dog barking and creaking floor boards next to my bed. The next thing I know I hear someone run out of the living room and shut our back door. WOAH!!! Talk about an adrenaline rush. My husband starts screaming HELLO, HELLO and bolts out of bed into the kitchen. This freaks my dog out completely and he leaps off the bed and immediately and beyond his control drops two small turds onto the floor, which tells you about how much protection my lazy pug dog would be if the intruder had to decided to stand his/her ground.

When my eyes finally adjusted to the light and I managed to persuade my 8 month pregnant body to sit up The first thing I see is my 6ft 3in, 350 pound husband standing naked with that adrenaline rush look on his face holding a large kitchen knife! If I hadn't been so freaked out myself I might have laughed. If I had been the burglar I would probably have immediately and beyond my control droped two small turds onto the floor

The first words he was able to get out were "WHERE ARE MY PANTS!" If you only knew how hard a question that was to answer... I wasn't even sure where my pants were as our house is in a state of complete disarray. It is amazing how vulnerable one can feel without one's pants.

Then my husband looks at me desparately and says "I want to go and look in the basement but I am too scared". I only wish he could have seen himself in the mirror, even buck naked he was sight that would have inspired fear in any basement intruders! He had this look of crazy startled anger that even had me a bit afraid, I was glad when he put the knife down.

Finally, after a few frantic minutes we were able to locate our pants, and with some calm reassurance and deep breaths he was able to check the basement and I managed to check the upstairs... No one.

It took us a few minutes to figure out that whomever had been in our house had stolen my purse, and my coat and my husband's keys. The purse that was stolen only contained some breast cream samples, a couple of newborn diapers, and lots and lots of Lamaze Birth Method information, my coat was not REAL suede, and had a broken zipper and was badly in need of a dry cleaning. I can just imagine the disappointment the burglar must have felt after checking out his or her loot.

Shortly after that we did call the police, who came out and made a list of the things that were missing and gave us a police report number that really is useless to us. The cop who came out seemed really annoyed to be here and was very annoyed with my dog, who in my eyes really was the hero of the evening. Our 2 year old son was spending the night at his grandparents so we were thankful for that. The next day we changed the locks on our doors and got a new set of keys, I am bummed about the keyless entry things though... those are nice to have.

I have been trying to come up with some lesson I had learned, or a good moral to the story, and all I think I can come up with is that even a dog can have the shit scared out of him. Or how about a silver lining... ummm even desparate people can use a little breast cream now and then. Unfortunately that's the best I've got, if you can come up with something let me know!